Stop Camp Kissing

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July 17, 2008

OK, this doesn’t have much to do with technology, but it is summer many of you still have summer camp or mission trips ahead of you. So I thought I would share a post I read at Stuff Christians Like. It’s “Making Purple: 11 Ways to Stop Camp Kissing.”

Here are some of my favorites:

2. Encourage bad breath
In the eighth grade I used to date a girl named Sue. After every school dance, during which boys sat sweatily on one side and girls on the other while listening to Ace of Bass, we would walk to a local pizza joint. It used to kill me when Sue would eat Cool Ranch Doritos. Those may taste great, but it makes your breath smell like warm garbage. And Smartfood white cheddar popcorn has the same effect. It tastes good but makes your fingers and your mouth smell like throw up. So instead of having a well-stocked snack table or snack booth at camp, only offer bad breath items after 5PM. Call it the “garlic pickle rule.” Don’t sell gum or mints or other things that are going to make kids’ mouths like Alpine ski resorts of freshness. Focus on things like Swiss cheese, beef jerky and other unpleasantly-flavored delights.

3. Know your enemy.
Weeks before camp or a retreat begins, go over the roster of people that will be attending with your staff. Put a check by the name of everyone you think is likely to at one point kiss someone. Go ahead and put a check by any of the pastor’s kids. Don’t be fooled by the dorks either. You might think the kids playing world of warcraft 82 hours a day aren’t going to make out, but they will. As Sun Tzu says, “if you know the enemy and know yourself, your victory will not stand in doubt.”

5. Get an informant.
You need an inside man. Someone that can feed you information, like when someone is sneaking out or where the sneak out spot is. You’ll be tempted to play this role yourself, but don’t. Teens can spot a youth minister trying to act cool a mile away. Instead, find someone that will do the job for you if you give them an important sounding title like “assistant to the regional manager of no kissing.”

It’s a really funny post, I encourage you to ahead over and rest the rest. And for those with summer camp, trips, or retreats still ahead of you, now you know, and knowing is half the battle.

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